| hmm^_^ |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|03:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
omg!!!! he is sooooo hot^_^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| shit=)ang saya |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|01:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | perfect....lol | ] |
ang saya nun fri night!!!!!!!!!!!=) lol.... wala lng,,,, naiyak ko n lhat ng sama ng loob ko...khit n i still feel something evrynyt... i hv to move on n live my fucking life.... iddrop ko n fil ko...yey!!!!! filipino sux!!!!lol |
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| **prelims** plus zero lovelife..it sucks.. |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|10:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
darn it.. got no webcam at home...sucks... fuck it... i miss having him by my side n everything.. but shit........ ahahhaha happens... yea ryt... well yea... dated sum guy.. but he wasnt worth m,y time,... he seems to like me for sumthin else.... not love... aww yea...reality byts..it riliew....does.... life sucks...... aww... im gona see john tonight..hope he'll notice me n a way or anoder.. darn it... life sucks...totali... ahahaha=) i miss carlo 2... |
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| darn it!! |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|06:09 pm] |
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oh... colleges cool... damn.. it stil sucks in a way tho... lol... prelims... yea...sux... damn... mis hiskool n everything.. silly things with sum old frenz... shit hapens all the time... oh life... so unfair... bored.... still.... i hate it here...grrrrrrrrrrrr... hate the rain... dont like my course... and everything.... miss my frenz... hate sum pipol..pissed off with sum epals.. and fucking... confused with my filins..ganun eh... shit hapens nga...lol shit |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2005|06:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
prom...tws was really fun.. we wer so sweet.. i mean really sweet..id always look at him wen he luks away.. i still hv filins 4him,i love him.. yeah we wer really cute doing the same things we did wen we wer still together.. miss ko na ngayon.. but un4tunatlety(hehehe) he didnt replied wen i txtd him him "love u"...yea well its really a big risk.. i know its kinda imposible that wed b bk n togther..pero im still hoping.. =( i duno.. i cnt frgt everythin he said last night..aww.. he was so sweet.. cute=) gntle... awww... ...=( i cnt slip coz i cant stop thinking of him..n all the good times we hd..dangg... i mis him saying i love u.. i miss him so much.. i miss evrything.. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2005|03:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | harder to breath | ] |
1.Full Name: Johanna Veloso BernaL
2. Nick name: jana,jani,janae,annahoj,etc..=)
3. Birthday: FeB 7(88)
4. Place of Birth: Pennsylvania, phiLadelphia
5. Zodiac Sign: taUrUs
6. Male or Female: fEmaLe
7. Course: bs PhArmAcY
8. School: sLu
9. Occupation: stUdenT
10. Residence: sUmWer
11. Screen Name(s): ...
Your Appearance
12. Hair Color: blk..brwn..
13. Hair:short
14. Eye Color: dArk bRown
16. Height: 5'..i dont know
17. Skin Color: kayumanggi..lol..
18. Shoe Size: 6 1/2 or 7
19. Braces?: b4!
20. Glasses?: nah
21. Piercings: earS..and belly dati.. i might another in my belly..gt no cash=(
23. Right oR leFt haNdeD? riGHT
Your "Firsts"
24. First kiss?? parents.. fk?someone secret=)
25. First B.F/ G.F.: kristopher lol..kidstuff tayo=)
27. First award? i 4gt
28. First Sport You Joined: bowling
29. First pet: bird
30. First Vacation: guam? i 4gt
31. First date:nyahihi.. it was a very sad date..lol kinda funny remembern it..lol
32. First Love: fAmiLY..or you wanna know my first ..in the oppos8 sex??hmm.. well him=)
Favorites
33. Movie: a WalK to RemembER,cinderella story,wedding planner..hopeless rmntic noh..;p
34. TV show?? not a tv type person..ganun eh=)
35. Color: pInK blue red black
36. Band mmbosstones,goldfinger,finch,greenday,aquabats,rancid..blahblah
37.Song:waiting,almost
38.Food: anY
39. Drink: watER pepsi,icedtea
40. Candy: any.. loliewpop=)
41. Sport To Play:
bowling
42. Sport To Watch: bball,badminton,volybl
43. Brand Of Clothing: dati maarte ako sa brands..all gio..now..anything as long as its )still)considered a clothing lol
44: Boutique/Store: anywer..
46. Animal: Dog,.i love birds..
47: Book: break up diaries..a child called it--this is really nice--dami ako binabasa.. =)
48. Magazine: teen,m,17,candy,anythin..fhm..lol
do u like.....
51. Typing: yeah..
52: Online? huh??
53. Listening: ...
Right now...
54. Thinking About: wat earings shud i use for tom lol
55. Want To: sleep..but im not sleepy
56. Watching: thE monitor
57. Wearing: shrt pnts
58. Want Kids?: ampon tayo=)
59. Want to Get Married?: someday...
60. Careers in Mind: ..i want to be a fashion designer..i love art..i love creating things..ganun eh... sana i can hold on ...=)
Choose between...
67. Cute or Sexy: cUtE
68. Lips or Eyes: eYeS
69. Hugs or Kisses: huGs
70. Short or Tall: taLL
71. Easy going or serious: eAsy gOiNg
73. Fatty or Skinny: hMMm...used to like skinny..duno y... nyahihihi....just right i gez
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: romntic..
74. Sensitive or Loud: loUd!
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relAtioNshiP..=)
76. Sweet or Caring: both..
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One nEiThEr
have you ever
78. Kissed a Stranger: nOpE!
79. Drank Alcohol: yup
80. Smoked: nO
81. Ran Away From Home: never!lol
82. Broken a Bone: yaH
83. Got an X-ray: yUp
84. Broken Someones Heart: yeah...sabi niya,sabi nila..sorry
85. Broke Up With Someone: kinda
86. Turned Someone Down: yeah
87. Cried When Someone Died: uh-huh
88. Cried at school: yeah..im sensitive..
do you believe in
89. God: YES
90. Miracles: yea..
91. Love At First Sight: ""NAH!!!!NO NO NO=)""lol
92. Ghosts: uh-huh=(
93. Aliens: yea..
95. Heaven: yEs
96. Hell: yeS
98. Kissing on The first date: nO! big no! not that kind of grl=)
99. Horoscopes: lol.. kinda.. natatawa ako=)hula hula... love ko mga frenz ko na ganyan=)galen...talent yan...!! mahal yan=)j/k..
100.Is There Someone You Want But You Know you
cant gEt! b4.. i dont know,im not sure... |
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| wahhh |
[May. 20th, 2005|10:37 pm] |
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huwala ako sa sarili.... antok na ko...may mali me nanasulat..nayhihihihiihi nexttime aysuin ko.... pilit lang yan..hihihihihi ganun eh=)my mga mali tlg swear |
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| entry daw..=) |
[May. 20th, 2005|09:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
isang araw humingi ako ng textmate sa friend ko.. binigay niya number ng crush niya.. then after a month i texted him.. "care to text".. tapos yun he really seems superrr suplado..i swear.... nd i really wanted the feeling na ako yung hinahabol, ako yung tntext, ako yung gusto...ako yung walang interes..i didnt like him bec. he was a snob..he ignores me..=( yeah then..yun nachallenge ako..sabi ko sa isip ko na carry ko toh... so yun.. parang nagkainteres ako sa kanya.. then.. yun as in pinipilit ko sya magmit...i swear..ang kulit ko sa knya..kasi sobrang asar ako na hindi siya nghahabol or wat.. he was different which made me likd him..believe me.. the day came we finally saw each ader.. at frst i rili was shocked....tisoy pala.. tapos,. yun...sabi ng bestfriend ko hindi niya feel..pero deep inside me.. i think hs cute.. i thnk hs cute..cute and cute... he texted me and yun nagulat rin daw sya na..i look great etc..=) nyahihihihi mission accomplished!!! he liks me!!!!we texted and talk n the fone for hours and hours..he was so sweet... he'd kiss me tru txt n call..tells me to take care eat..sliptyt..DONT LET THE BED BUGS BITE.. as in.. hinid ko pa naranasan na ganun kasweet yung guy sakin.. i like him..sinagot ko sya sa cjh..he gave me flowers=) oh God..he was the best.. he brought hs wig..we wer both in red.. he brot hs cam..we walk,, and that was the first time i saw hs lovely eyes.. hs red lips.. wahh everything that he is.. very close to me.. i like him..=) he told me stories bout hs past..hs hula hula thing nun bata sya...ala..ang unique niya... he is very unique... well..meron akong hindi nasabi sa kanya nun time na yun.. na may dalawa pa akong bf..c.... and si ...... shit..ang stupid ko noh?ewan ko ano nasa utak ko nun..kung meron pa ko nun ...lol.. and yun sinabi ko sa kanya lahat...about sa dalawang bf ko..oh God he was so nice to me... hinid siya nagalit..he understand..grabe..i was like..sooobrannng nabilib sa kanya... tapos nalungkot ako sa situation ko na 3 bf ko.. nun 1week na kami he gave me a very cute stufftoy na puppy..kais he knows how i love puppies.. and nextwk..belgian chocolate..i was like...nagugulat kasi after all nun ginawa ko ganun pa rin sya na sweet and totful.. i decided na makipagbreak sa 2 kng bf.. for him.. we wer so happy together.. ngahihiking kami,music tripping..everything na hindi ko naexperience sa mga past bfs ko....ako pa prom date nya sa date nyang skool..frst time naming dalawa mgdodgeball..we cut clases..we talk n the fon til mornin..basta.. i loved him.. it was the greatest feeling iv ever felt..maging seryoso.. well..things change..everything..lahat.. well because i was selosa.. he likes another.. then i set him free.. he came back.. we wer happy.. some girls kip on teasing him=( and.. that made me..selos ulit... and so on.. =( hanggang dumating yung point na my guy na sobrang may gusto sakin((totoo)) na my bet sila na ginawa para maagaw ako,.pra masira relationship namin,.. my mga girls na binayran to txt him...my mga boys na binayaran to txt me... sad noh?..so yun... hanggang dumating yung point na to... we gt tired....=( i trust him,,.. but i wasnt hving the guts to say how sorry i am for believin ader pipol.. ngsorry ako..n i know i was sincere... but he doesnt seem to care at that moment.. i dont know.. makes me sad.... i remember everything we had... it was the best!..sana naman in time... i duno... sana u know...=(pinaiyak ako ni kuya oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| yipee.. |
[May. 18th, 2005|09:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
wahh=) IM Soo happy... n slipiew...bow=) nyahihihihihihihihihihihihihi |
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| =) |
[May. 17th, 2005|10:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
he said it was true, i think it was foolish
he said it was love, i think it was infatuation
he said i should move on, i didnt want to listen
he said he understands, i know he didnt knew our story
he said he didnt want to judged me,i know he did
he asked me if i can, i told him i can't
he asked me why, i told him it was love
he asked me how i define love, i told him its within me.. i really can't explain
he asked me why didnt i express it, i told him to shut up ..you don't know our story
he asked me to go out, i didnt want to meet him at all
he tried to make me smile, i know he can't
he tried to call, i didnt want to answer
he tried to adore me, i felt that icky feeling
he tried to pleae me, i think he was a clown
he tried to keep in touch with me, i tried to hide..i dont want him at all
he loves me, i hate him
he loves texting me, i told him i didnt have load
he loves looking at my pictures, i kept them
he loves giving me testimonials, i felt that icky feeling again and rejected them
he loves me more than her, i really dont care about him
yeah!!!!!!!! yipppeeee!!!! TINIGILAN NIYA NA AKO!!!!=) |
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| can any1 tell me wat to do |
[May. 16th, 2005|07:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
i asked God for signs, that somehow He could tell me what's the best thing to do: to let go or to still hope that along the way he'd realiz things and that things would get better...it was a totali unanswered call, he left me hanging..and damn i duno wat gt n to me and believe everything he said.i felt so blessed to have him back but he wasnt sure pala.. he didnt new wat he did.. he regret the "balikan" thing..**hurts** it felt like my heart exploded.. it was more than hard for me than the last one..it was the stupid me hu turned out to blv that we'd be happy now..nah... itws a shitty move..oh i really don't wana be hurt..y am i letin myself feel like a lousy shit..ready to pick up anytime.. he said that he fuckin dont care now.. shit!! ieshh!! dont i deserve to be respected?! I DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED! well i loved him and i still do and he can totalli be a jerk sumtyms.. He regret that we had a relationship..so do i.. or ws i faking it..because my emotions wer fucking talking...shit!emotions really sux!i asked him to meet up with me and talk but it ..to have a have a formal break up..personally... but he doesnt know.. he was thinking of hs exam..well yea i understand him.. but in a way no.. coz it wudnt take long to say "break na tayo"...etc.. and it wud clear hs mind..he could frget me na talga.. hindi ko nga lam kng nasasayangan lang ako or i still wana keep him becoz i love him,,.. yea well.. its because i love him kahit na marami akong ayaw sa kanya..kahit na hindi xa yung guy na gusto ko maging..kahit na madami na xang ginawa in the past..i accepted him..sobra..but he didnt noticd.=(.. grabe... ang sakit sakit..as in.. wen he txtd that he loveD me.. like it was hitting me inside..taena=(( i wanted to meet up with him to say that i'm sorry and be honest with my feelings ..n tell him that if ever we decided to gt togther again.. i promise him to trust him 100%.. ya ryt.. bt ko pa un naiisip ngaun lng db?!ang stupid ko ryt?? like duh.. as if naman kasi ganun lang un.. pero mali talaga yung ginawa niya.. sabi lang niya the other nyt na kmi na..den after that.. kagabi.. sabi niya he regret it.. sana inisip niya muna.. kasi naniwala ako..sabi niya dd u rili think it wud work.....and YEAH I DID!!!!! fuck!!!i did!!!shit.. well b4 i tried to test him last night i tot of things... am i really ready to him.. and i said yes.. & i promise myself to ba loyal to my word.. yeah...then i tested him.. my cousin txtd him and told him that she like him..etc.. then he asked him..kung my gf siya and kung my magagalit.. so un.. reply nya was.. i dnt know... den i felt stupid.. talagang ang sakit nun heart ko.. nonstop..tapos un sabi niya sakin he was pointing out na ung i dont know was..i dont know kng my magagalit....yea.. so i said..sana cnb mu ng direct..basta yung point ko was dont give a double meaning on things.. well un..minsan tuloy naiisip ko.. nagpapalusot siya.. yea.. i didnt trust him that much...hindi na gaya ng dati.. coz of the past..and hs attitude at the moment..ang sama sama ng loob ko kasi parang wala lang sa knya..halatang sawa na siya and wala ng gana.. pero hindi niya ba naisip na hindi siya open sa akin and that i was paranoid na..jz to make him feel that m der.. minsan nga iniisip ko.. hindi siya ba natotouch na khit asa hospital dad ko pinuntahan ko pa rin siya sa brent na kahit hindi ako pwde lumabas nanjan ako para sa knya..shit!ang drama drama ko..taena..bakit kung kelan seryoso ka na.. mawawala pa.. iv learnt my lesson .. tapos naisip ko pa..bat pa ako pupunta sa prom kung ang reason niya is sayang kung hindi ako pumunta and wala siyang partner.. wtf is dat..show off?? ieshh... sana my effort man lang siya sana naging man enough siya para maging open..shit.. i asked God that if he'd agree na meet kami ngaun.. den baka my chance..kung hindi..let it go na talaga ako..kahit masakit.. il accept it.. but he said """I DONT KNOW""" ...so i don't know wat am i suposed to do..pupunta pa kaya ako sa prom niya.. hindi ko na kasi alam kng anong tama...my emotions are talking.. m so fuckin confuse........ |
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| la lang |
[May. 15th, 2005|09:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
*boring
*happy yet sad
*tired..
*wanna cry
*its sux
*never been a succes
*wasted my time w8ng for nothing
*filin mushy yet sad
*pised off ..(cnt u think of anything to do... shsh dont bother me.. thats ur life!)
*breaks my heart to see a fren cry..
*wish i had a magic thingy to make him happy
*im excitd to go to skul ,im so bored
*noone cares the way i want to be cared of
*i wish i can do it
*ieshhhh some people are in nature...liars!!!
*dont make promises that u cant even put into mind
*don't act childish
*don't pretend that you're the one coz obviusly ur not
*don't let a person fall 2 much
*happy i have friends
*i'm sorry for him
*he texted yet didnt let me know wat ws hs point...//wat is he trying to point out?!
*i hate you
*i feel better saying dat
*i'm so lucky to have you guys
*i love being pamperd
*i love being love,true love
*i love being in love
*i hate it when i'm paranoid
*i'm artistic
*i want to be appreciated
*i want to feel happy
*i hate people who ruins my relationship
*i hate it when he doesnt tell me what he feels
*i love writers
*i love musicians
*i love artictic p.
*i love hugs
*i like dogs
*i like stuff toys
*i love collecting things
*i miss my collection of socks(lol true true)
*i miss jana mae
*i miss someone
*i feel stupid, i know i am in some aspects..LIKE...
*i want to out in a date
*i miss having dates
*i wanna hang out with my other frenz
*i want to frgt some things
*i wish der was a brain surgery to frgt it
*i dont know why other people are so self centerd
*i hate users
*i miss him
*he's funny goodlooking..but not my type..
*im tired w8ng
*im really tired
*makes me stupid but i gues ds is a BIG lesson 4 me
*gt over with the past.. hello future
*nyahehe la lang |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | breakaway..? | ] |
from the day i knew that it wasnt working no more.. i strtd writing everythin in my personal journal.. everything i wnt to say to him.. the feeling that wasnt easy to kip.. i didnt rili want to kip it all to myself.. but i tried.. n tot that im strong n m still going on just fine.... i felt like a loser..in a way..i wasnt reasonable... everyone has hs own view n life(n life itself).... n hirs one thing iv realzd... HS WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE 'ROUND ME... and .. that relationships should be built with trust...loyalty.. and love.... oh........................
i'm just soo much thankful that i have my friends hu r der 4me.. theyr the best.. i ws so sobrang shy .. wen my mom called me bout the prom.. and everything.. i acted that everythin was just going fine.. she even bought me sumthin 4 da incoming prom.. i dont know.. well he told me.. il still be hs date.. but.. ders the feeling of emptiness in me.. i duno.. i rili duno..wats on my mind.. its magulo.... wahh.. ***smile*** MY LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE WASTED n being sad n panget.. .....lol... thank God.. iv talked to A friend yesterday n gve me efective advices.. that made me rili fil great... thnx=).. wel... ima.. gona.. do sum stuffs..... wahh duno how to put games on my fon=( hmp... help me pwixz... |
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| plastic |
[May. 9th, 2005|06:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejected | ] |
i hurt myself,.... myself and cry ...i kip nsmilng with a fake face coz its full of makeup so u wudnt notice wats inside... front view back view..sideways..i look so great.. like i cudnt ask for anything at all.. yea they say im a very funny person a fun to be with gurlaloo a girl hu just goes with the ride..but no u dont know me.. im not all u think i am.. i laugh till my tummy hurts but..true every joy u fil..comes back with sadnez=(.. i stay awake all night long hoping ud think of wat hapen n mybe fix up things n u wud b open.. i didnt sleep... just cried cried n now stil crying coz i duno wat rili hapen to us., i remembr a fren tellin me that we looklik "magasawa" lol the only thing that was missing wer documnts to prov it legally...lol but its over...i was so wrong to kip everything to myself coz now it hurts... soo much... it rili hurts...now i cudnt even touch my makeup..put it on..im so weak,,sobra....=( |
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| ....shsh.... |
[May. 9th, 2005|05:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
..**speechless**.. i duno wat i feel for him, i duno wat to say n do.. all i know is dat i love him so,,.. and i cudnt changed the fact that i was completely wrong for all dos f_____ days.. i never tried to get him upset but i tot i tried..hindi pala.. iv hurt him to much... i duno y but he was the only person hu i trusted so much..gave everythin that i cud offer and love him for all times..lol i duno wats wrong with me,.. lol.. i fil so ripped of ... fil like my life support systm bin taken away from me..alam mo yung..u think of everythin uv been tru.. all thos memories.. haha.. i tot we wer open with each ader.. hindi pala.. i know i know i know im so into u.. all i think is u.. all i know is you.. nawala na yung pride.. coz i understand..ur past.. ur life..hindi pala.. =((.. all the things i wana say.. just goes away.. coz i cant tell u thos words.. i cnt afford to los sum1 like u... i kept all the burdens here... in my ________heart... well i cnt forgt everything he told me..everytthing... every single thing.. i used to think that he was my bestfriend.. my u know....ahrgg!!!!! wev shared everything... even our very soul just to make this ......goin on,,, hayyyyyy ...................********* life sucks********* hehehe..shsh... ayoko na.. well yeah true true im wrong for acting on him like i was suspicius lagi.. like i dont trust him like he was kipin something from me and all... but the point is,,.. sana he was open,,.. sana sinabi niya... sana sana sana.. and yeah i stil cudnt frgt the past in a way.. and i wanted to fil safe,,.. ang selfish ano.... maybe iv changed nga talga but der r sum factors that made me chang for sure............ shsh |
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| ==life==livin 8! |
[May. 3rd, 2005|03:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | moody | ] |
| [ | music |
| | screaming infidelities | ] |
life is like a game.. you win you luz.. bet.. take the risk and everything.. you just have to be confident n every move u take.. yea.. hell hard to explain..but life sucks.. wen we let it be.. wel u hav to chus between gud n evil.. u try to kip on the ryt track but often times we gt tempted to taste a 'lil bit of hell in our side.,lol.. well now...my freakiiew f**kn life is so unexplainable..hahaha.. i duno wat hapen to my taste my likes and dislikes all i f**kn know is its becoz i chuz to be like "THIS".. i never imagined that everythin i wanted wud turn out to be like "THIS"..at times i wana hit my head against the wall and shout at the top f my voice..wtf is happenin to me.. i want to feel free n out f the game.. but it's like ders sumthin inside me.. hu kips tellin me to wait for the ryt tym n be patient...be happy and contented.. but i can't seem to get the fact that y do other people get to hv the things i want in life but ignore them.. lucky.. huh... but it's so unfair... i feel so uneasy ..the thought of giving ur soul ur heart ur everything just to please everyone...sucks!!!ang gulo gulo!!everything u wish for goes opposite as if tries to challenge u..but sady im not chaleged...i gt weak..inside..uhhhh=(
well yeeee...life is really a game, its not worth it if you havent felt the joy in every level u take..uhhh... waaaaaattttttttttttt a game!!!! ..mybe i just hv to wait...for the next level then.. |
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| ....... |
[May. 3rd, 2005|01:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | full | ] |
Your Japanese Name Is... |
Akina Askikaga
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totzienz999's journal
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